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hailhyrda:

This is my friend’s FB status.
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  • me: *turns 20*
  • me: damn it, I'm too old to star in my own anime
  • *joins Tumblr*
  • me: I was told this is where people with unhealthy fandom obsessions and compulsive shippers go

[ ❀ ] PAY ATTENTION TO ME:

name: Samara
height: 5’7.
eye color: Brown.
birthday: 24th of February.
favorite color: Green.
best school subject(s): I was good at English in school.
current shirt colour: Red with “Mr. Owl, how many licks?” on it.
day or night: Night.
religion: None.
gender: Female.
sexual orientation: Straight.
single or taken: Singular.
celebrity crush: Jensen Ackles.
coffee or tea: Both.
favorite food: My grandmother’s meatloaf.

(Source: choke-on-glitter, via hansofthecutieisles)

ale-stuffs:


#this makes me think of like #The Hangover or some shit #like they just wake up in a forest #We fucked up.
  #they lost clint #he’s supposed to be marrying natasha in the morning #but they fucking lost him  
#at one point steve remembers he got married to a stripper #and screams #I MARRIED A HOOKER #and thor looks absolutely offended and yells #HOW DARE YOU SHE’S A NICE LADY


#spoilers: the stripper is loki


SOMEBODY MAKE A FAN FIC. P L E A S E




artist here (x)
hylianrudolf:

Tumblr I have a story for you.
You see this shit right here? This big-ass building is the Jurassic Park river ride building down at Universal Studios in Orlando. And the bullshit that happened to me on this ride was just ridiculous.
Okay, so, at the end of this ride there is a giant drop into the water (basically the Splash Mountain of Universal?). We go through the entire ride lookin at dinosaurs and shit and bein all happy, until the part where the T-Rex shows up and you KNOW shit is gonna go down. The ride fucking stops with no damn warning right in front of this T-Rex. Just right in front of this giant dinosaur that wants to eat us.
And over the PA system we hear “Please remove your hats.”
This wasn’t fucking normal. They didn’t just stop the ride to tell people to remove their hats, which was written on a fucking sign just before you get on so surely you’d already know, right? But no. I thought maybe they just had an incident were some idiot hadn’t removed his hat and it got lodged in the machinery under the water and fucked shit up or something, so maybe they were being cautious and reminding us before we went over that hats aren’t fucking good here.
And then we hear it again.
"Please remove your hats."
"Please remove your hats."
"PLEASE remove your hats."
This repeats twenty or so goddamn times and we are sitting here for what feels like forever in front of this blood-thirsty but now completely silent (but still moving) animatronic over-glorified lizard from hell, and finally the dude on the intercom gets just fucking frustrated and goes “MAN IN ROW FIVE, YOUR HAT, SIR.”
At this point I finally turn around, because at this point it is painfully obvious we have a fucking dumbass in board and this isn’t just a routine procedure gone wrong.
Sure enough, in the middle of row five, there’s this man wearing his stupid fucking ball cap. And he isn’t paying a LICK of attention. I bet you anything that he was taking a nap. So all of us on the ride turn around yell at him to take ofF HIS FUCKING HAT. And he just jolts up an finally fucking takes it off and sits on it. The voice over the PA goes “Thank you, have a nice fall” and proceeds to send us right the fuck over, durin which I managed to make the most glorious “>:( I had fun once and it was AWFUL” face for the camera, making the whole ordeal completely worth it.
MAN IN ROW FIVE THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS.
  • My personality:

    • I’m loud.
    • I’m obnoxious.
    • I’m sarcastic.
    • I’m cocky.
    • I cry easily.
    • I have a bad temper.
    • I’m easy to get along with.
    • I have more enemies than friends.
    • I’ve smoked.
    • I’ve smoked weed.
    • I drink coffee.
    • I clean my room daily.

    My appearance:

    • I wear a piece of jewelry at all times.
    • I wear makeup.
    • I wear contacts.
    • I wear glasses.
    • I have braces.
    • I change my hair colour often.
    • I straighten my hair often.
    • I have a piercing.
    • I have small feet.


    Relationships:

    • I’m in a relationship now.
    • I’m single
    • I’m crushin’.
    • I’m always scared of being hurt.
    • An ex has physically abused me at least once.
    • I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
    • I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
    • I’ve been in love more than two times.
    • I believe in love at first sight.
    • I believe lust is more important than love. 


    Friendships:

    • I have a best friend.
    • I have at least ten friends.
    • I’ve gotten a phone call in the last 48 hours from a friend.
    • I’ve beaten up a friend.
    • I’ve been in a serious fight with a friend.


    Experiences:

    • I’ve been on a plane.
    • I’ve been on a train.
    • Someone close to me has passed away.
    • I’ve taken a taxi.
    • I’ve taken a city bus.
    • I’ve taken a school bus.
    • I’ve gone bungee jumping.
    • I’ve made a speech.
    • I’ve been in some sort of club.
    • I’ve won an award.
    • I’ve spent 24 Hours on the computer straight.
    • I’ve been in a physical fight.

    Music:

    • I listen to R&B.
    • I listen to country. 
    • I listen to pop.
    • I listen to techno.
    • I listen to rock. 
    • I’m one of those people who play songs repeatedly until I hate it. 
    • I hate the radio.
    • I download music.
    • I buy CD’s.


    Television:

    • I spend at least six hours a day watching television.
    • I watch soap operas daily.
    • I’m in love with Days of Our Lives. 
    • I’ve seen and liked the O.C.
    • I’ve seen and liked One Tree Hill.
    • I’ve seen and liked Americas Next Top Model. 
    • I’ve seen and liked Popular.
    • I’ve seen and liked 24. 
    • I’ve seen and liked CSI. 
    • I’ve seen and liked Law & Order: SVU.


    Family Life:

    • I get along with both of my parents.
    • My biological parents are still together. 
    • I have at least one brother.
    • I have at least one sister.
    • I have at least one step brother/sister.
    • I have at least one half brother/sister.
    • I’ve been kicked out of the house.
    • I’ve ran away from my home.
    • I’ve sworn at my parents.
    • I’ve made my parents cry. 
    • I’ve lied to my parents.
    • I’ve lied to my parents about where I am.
    • I’ve lied to my parents about what I’m doing.
    • I’ve lied to my parents so I’d be allowed out.
    • I’ve walked out when I’ve been grounded.


    Hair:

    • I’ve been brown. 
    • I’ve had streaks.
    • I’ve cut my hair in the past year.
    • I’ve dyed my hair in the past year.
    • I’ve been blonde.
    • I’ve had black.
    • I’ve been red. 
    • I’ve been light brown.
    • I’ve been blue/green.
    • I’ve gotten my hair thinned. 
    • I use conditioner.
    • I’ve used silk therapy.
    • I’ve used hot oil treatments.
    • I’ve curled my hair.
    • I’ve straightened my hair.
    • I’ve ironed my hair.
    • I’ve braided my hair.

    School:

    • I’ve yelled at a teacher.
    • I’ve been suspended.
    • I’ve had an in-school suspension.
    • I’ve been sent to the principals office.
    • I’ve walked out of class.
    • I’ve skipped an entire day of school.
    • I’ve skipped a whole month of one certain class. 
    • I’ve cheated on a test. 
    • I’ve helped someone else cheat on a test.
    • I’ve failed Art.
    • I’ve failed P.E.
    • I’ve failed Math.
    • I’ve failed another class.

(Source: xnadia, via grumpy-sloth)

knightarcana:

somaperies:

vantasticmess:

astro-butts:

hey you kids wanna buy some drugs

basically the first interaction between humans and a snake ever

#bible jokes#yo check out this knowledge fruit#it’ll totally be the best thing ever#he wants to lead you down the path to righteousness#i’m gonna lead you down the path that rocks#snake (via vantasticmess)

*SNORTS*
☓☓☓